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Anime Stash Community Forum  |  The Lounge  |  Chatbox  |  Topic: Joke thread...
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Author Topic: Joke thread...  (Read 10363 times)
Takuto
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Joke thread...
« on: July 11, 2011, 01:41:18 PM »

time to laugh out loud! feel free to share your jokes on this thread.

ok ill start with this one...


A policeman saw a little boy crying.
he approached him and asked: what is the matter boy?

Boy: huhuhu! matter is anything that occupies space & has mass.

xD


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Takuto
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2011, 01:51:07 PM »

Imagine life w/o girls.
Phone is silent.
Mall is empty.
No cosmetics.
No flowers.
No noise.
Boys are lonely.

and worst,

Gays will die Laughing >_<
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Takuto
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2011, 02:13:13 PM »

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AsaNo88
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2011, 03:19:18 PM »

i'll help you Takuto


Crazy people talk

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Giving very odd excuses

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

Constantly complaining about the temperature

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2011, 04:01:12 PM »

i'll help you Takuto


Crazy people talk

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Giving very odd excuses

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

Constantly complaining about the temperature

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."

Asa i think u messed up the second and third joke
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AsaNo88
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2011, 04:11:01 PM »

eh, really ?

sorry then. i only copy that and paste here
i'll pick another good joke next time
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monnish
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2011, 04:35:22 PM »

There's an older joke thread for those of you who care.

http://animestash.info/forum/index.php?topic=735.0

Maybe you can get a deeper insight into the senses of humor of older members.
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Aki
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2011, 05:05:56 PM »

Teacher: Good morning class I have a couple of riddles to start off this morning. I have something here that's round red and good to eat? Sarah: an apple? Teacher: No it's a tomato but you're thinking.
Teacher: I have something here that's yellow and odd shaped and good to eat? Michael: A banana? Teacher: No it's a pear but you're thinking.
Little Johnny: Teacher, I have a riddle. Teacher: Okay Johnny tell us your riddle. Little Johnny: I have something in my pocket that's round, hard and has a head on it? Teacher: Johnny, you go see the principal right this instant. Little Johnny: It's a nail, but you're thinking.
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Decisions needs calm, the best choice can be made when u have thought about every possibilities..
Ancho
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2011, 08:18:10 AM »

This is more of an analogy, than a joke...

"Cock-meat tastes just like Pork"

And...
The word 'eat' is NOT to be used loosely. (Since it involves things like digestion and so on)


Here's a strange but true fact (though not widely accepted):
There are more females working at meat-factories today than males,
since the guys tend to lose more than just their fingers by accident (or otherwise).

Moral of the joke: Who knows what's inside that meatball (sandwich)?

Final analogy: If you think about this long enough, you just might become a strict vegetarian afterwards...apart from losing your mind...
 undecided

Go ahead and copy and paste this if you think it's funny...
for me..it was just a thought.
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EroSugi
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2011, 03:13:34 PM »

can I give some Ero jokes?
evil

well normal one for now..
tee hee

an american is on a holiday trip to Bali~ there He bump into a native people. the native people is kinda bad at english and here are what their conversation about

Native People (A): Uwaa.. I am sorry sir
Americans (B): I'm sorry too
A (dumbfounded) : eh? ah.. err.. I am sorry three? (with unsure tone)
B : what are you sorry'in for?
A (with a glad face) : ah! I'm sorry five! (with full confidence)
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人とは最も多く人々喜ばせた者が最も大きく栄える。
Man that please the most of the masses is the most prosperous

Takuto
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2011, 04:14:17 PM »

hahaha thanks for your funny posts. keep em coming guys!
ero jokes are fine... but i dunno about the admins if its okay >_<

heres another one.

4 horny men in a prison cell,
a Rapist,a murderer, a psycho & a gay..

Rapist: if there was a "CAT" here, i'd F*CK it till it gets weak.

Murderer:when you're done,i'd F*CK it till it dies.

Psycho:oh yeah!once it's dead,i'll F*CK it till i die!

The GAY in the corner,softly said.




"MEOW"



>_< haha the gay dude became a cat xDD
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Takuto
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2011, 04:23:37 PM »

*HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE NORMAL*
1.YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT
2.YOU HAVE A CELLPHONE
3.YOU WATCH YOUTUBE
4YOU ARE FULLY AWARE OF
ADULT STUFF
6.YOU REGISTER TO ANIMESTASH
7.YOU SLEEP LATE
9.YOU WERE SO BUSY YOU FORGOT TO READ #5
10.YOU ACTUALLY READ AGAIN
TO SEE IF THERE IS #5
(DON`T WORRY THERE IS NO NUMBER #8 ALSO)
11.NOW YOU ARE SMILING
THEN YOU ARE REALIZE,YOU ARE ABNORMAL

haha peace!
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Ren-chan
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2011, 04:24:49 PM »

*HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE NORMAL*
1.YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT
2.YOU HAVE A CELLPHONE
3.YOU WATCH YOUTUBE
4YOU ARE FULLY AWARE OF
ADULT STUFF
6.YOU REGISTER TO ANIMESTASH
7.YOU SLEEP LATE
9.YOU WERE SO BUSY YOU FORGOT TO READ #5
10.YOU ACTUALLY READ AGAIN
TO SEE IF THERE IS #5
(DON`T WORRY THERE IS NO NUMBER #8 ALSO)
11.NOW YOU ARE SMILING
THEN YOU ARE REALIZE,YOU ARE ABNORMAL

haha peace!

Or more like it's due to me being really sleepy that i didn't even notice u are using numbering XD

Anyway,I found this.So it's not mine

So this pirate walks into a bar, his old favorite - although he hasn't been there in a while. Immediately the bartender notices him and says "Haven't seen ya in a while, where ya been? You look terrible!"

"Huh?" said the pirate, "What do you mean?"

"Oy, you've got a wooden leg! What happened?" said the bartender.

"Well," said the pirate, "Our ship was in a fierce sea battle, and me leg got hit by a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

"What about that hook? What happened to your hand?" again asked the bartender.

So the pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook... but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One fine day at sea a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in me damn eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."

"It was me first day with the hook."
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Lycaon
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #13 on: July 13, 2011, 04:26:11 PM »

fail as i dont have a facebook lol
ever heard of the pikachu joke, my friend told me once so random

how do u get a pikachu on a bus??

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Takuto
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Re: Joke thread...
« Reply #14 on: July 13, 2011, 04:30:45 PM »

What if God didn't make the sun?

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